Anal sex: tips for tops

Good sex

• Read about what your ass is made of. This will help you understand how everything works
• Usually, the bottom will prefer you to start slowly. If that goes well, you can speed it up later. It’s also good to switch it up: alternate between fast and slow
• You can try lots of different positions. Some positions are more difficult to do (at least for a longer time) 
• Not everyone likes the same things. And not every body is exactly the same. So pay attention to the person you have sex with. And to their reaction to what you do. You can also let him know what you like
• Are you close to cumming, but don’t want to yet? You can often delay your orgasm by squeezing your penis under the tip until the feeling goes away
• Is your penis not fully hard? Then you won’t be able to insert it in an anus. Especially if your partner has not relaxed yet. This is why it’s better to avoid drugs that make your penis less hard. For example poppers, or ecstasy. Read more about sex and drugs

Relaxed sex

• Make sure that the person you’re having sex with has relaxed before you insert your penis in his anus
• You can help the anus relax by licking it and slowly inserting your finger. It’s possible that your partner doesn’t like getting fingered. So ask him first if it’s okay 
• Use lube. Apply more if the sex is not going well or if it hurts. Read more about lube
• The anus is kept closed by sphincters. You can do something yourself to stretch your partner’s sphincters a little wider. For example, by gently pushing your finger right past the tight part and then slowly to the sides. Do this for about a minute, pushing left, right, up, and down. This will make the sphincter softer, so your penis can enter more easily. To make it feel even better, you can lick the anus at the same time
• Insert your penis slowly. As your partner breathes out, slowly push it further. You should wait with speeding up until you’re properly inside.
• Sometimes your partner might be unable to relax. Give them some time. And allow them to stop having sex if they want to.
• It can happen that your partner needs to take a poo while your penis is in their ass. Or that some poo comes out. Even if they cleaned up before the sex. This can be annoying, but it’s normal. Read more about anal sex and poo

Avoiding STDs

Even if you’re a top, you can still get STDs. Here’s what you can do to avoid getting STDs:

• Use condoms and lube. This lowers the chances of HIV or STDs
• After 15 minutes, put on a new condom. And use enough lube. A condom can break during anal sex.  
• Choose water- or silicone-based lube. Oil-based lube breaks condoms. Read more about lube
• Pee after the sex. This will lower your chances of STDs or other conditions
• Get tested 2 times a year for HIV and STDs
• Are you having sex with multiple people at once? Then you could pass on an STD. Wash your penis with water and soap before having sex with someone else. And use a new condom. This can lower chances of STDs. Also do this before someone blows you
• If you’re going to finger someone’s ass, make sure your nails are clipped short. Long nails can easily cause tears. And tears make it easier to get STDs

If you’re both a bottom and a top (vers)

Do you also enjoy taking a penis in your ass? Then read our tips for bottoms, too.

If you do both, you’re more likely to pass on an STD. 

This is how you can avoid getting or passing on STDs:

• Use a condom when you have sex
• Discuss with your doctor if PrEP is right for you. This is medication that protects you from getting HIV. Read more about PrEP
• Get tested for STDs 2 times a year. Make sure your anus and throat get tested too