Anal sex: tips for bottoms

Good sex

• Read about what your ass is made of. This will help you understand how everything works.
• Tell the person you’re having sex with what you like. This way it will be more fun for both of you
• In the beginning, decide for yourself how fast or slow you want to take the penis in your ass. For example, you can sit on your partner while he lies on his back. In this position you can lower your ass on the penis. It’s preferable to squat than to sit on your knees. This feels better for you and for the person you’re having sex with
• Anal sex mostly feels great because the inside of your ass is extra sensitive. Do you not feel much, or maybe too much? Then try a different position
• Does it feel like the penis is ‘slamming against a wall’? Then it’s probably poking the curve at the top of your rectum. You can make your rectum straighter by pulling op your legs and moving your anus down
• Do you have some experience with bottoming already? Then you can switch it up by relaxing and contracting your muscles while the penis is inside. This makes it feel even better for the person you’re having sex with

Keeping clean

• It can happen that you need to take a poo while someone’s penis is in your ass. Or that some poo will come out of your ass. It’s annoying, but it’s normal. Often you will feel it coming because you’ll get cramps in your tummy. If this happens, stop having sex and go to the toilet
• Do you want to be sure that no poo will come out when someone’s penis is in your ass? Then you can rinse your rectum before starting. To do this, you use water. Read more about anal douching
• Try to have a healthy diet and to exercise enough. For example walking, cycling or doing sports. This is good for your bowels. If you do this, you often won’t need to douche before having sex

Relaxed sex

• Take some time to relax before starting. Take deep, calm breaths: this helps with relaxing your abdomen. Breathe in and insert a finger, penis or dildo inside
• Your anus is kept closed by sphincters. You can do something yourself to stretch them a little wider. For example, by gently pushing a finger right past the tight part and then slowly to the sides. Do this for about a minute, pushing left, right, up, and down. This will make the sphincter softer. This way, the penis can enter more easily
• You can open your anus by pushing it out a little bit. Just like when you take a poo. Trying to pull the penis inside (as if you were holding a fart) actually makes the sex more difficult
• Do you feel a stabbing pain when the penis enters your anus? Then take a break and wait until the pain is gone. Usually it will be easier again after a couple of minutes
• Are you unable to relax? Some people use poppers for this. They’re a drug that can help you relax your anus. But they also have disadvantages, so see if you can do it without them. Read more about poppers

Avoiding STDs

As a bottom, you’re more likely to get HIV than as a top. This is what you can do to lower your chances of HIV and STDs:

• Use condoms and lube. This lowers the chances of HIV or STDs
• Choose water- or silicone-based lube. Oil-based lube breaks condoms. Read more about lube
• Do you not always use a condom during sex? Maybe you could take PrEP. This is medication that protects you from getting HIV. Read more about PrEP
• Get tested 2 times a year for HIV and STDs
• Make sure your bowels stay healthy. Don’t douche with soap, don’t take drugs in your anus, eat healthy and drink enough water

If you’re both a bottom and a top (vers)

Do you enjoy a penis in your ass, but also like it to insert your penis in someone’s ass? Then read our tips for tops, too. 

If you do both, you’re more likely to pass on an STD. 

This is how you can avoid getting or passing on STDs:

• Use a condom when you have sex
• Discuss with your doctor if PrEP is right for you. This is medication that protects you from getting HIV. Read more about PrEP
• Get tested for STDs 2 times a year. Make sure your anus and throat get tested too