Help after a bad experience with sex?

What is sexual violence?

Sexual violence can be a lot of things. It can happen in your relationship, but also with someone you don't know (well). It is something someone does that you do not want at that moment. Or someone forces you to do something you don't want. For example:

• You are touched against your will (sexual assault)
• Someone has sex with you (rape)
• You have to give someone a hand job or a blow job
• Someone forces you to jerk yourself off
• Someone forces you to insert an object into yourself (for example, into your butt)
• Someone gives you alcohol or drugs without your consent, to have sex with you

Online sexual violence 

You can also experience sexual violence on the Internet. 

For example:

• Someone sends sexual messages or photos that you don't want
• Someone sends sex photos and/or videos of you to others without your permission
• Someone sends sex photos or videos of you to others. For example, to get money or sex from you
• An ex puts sex photos or videos of you online out of revenge

Sexual assault during chemsex

Have you been using drugs? Then sometimes you do things you don't want to do. Or you do something to someone else that they don't want or like. Sometimes you don't realize this until later. Even if you have doubts whether something really happened against your will, it is important to talk about it. You can do this not only at the Sexual Assault Centre, but also at organizations that deal with chemsex specifically.  

Read more about chemsex

Do you doubt whether you have experienced sexual violence?  

Maybe you are not sure if what you experienced was sexual violence. It's always good to talk to someone about it. Discuss your experience with MenAsWell. They will listen to your story. And give advice on what you can do. MenAsWell offers peer support in Dutch, English, Arabic, Portuguese, French and Italian.

What can you do in case of sexual violence?

Have you experienced sexual violence? Then you could feel angry, sad or afraid. Maybe you have complaints or pain. Maybe you find it difficult to have sex again or to be intimate with someone. 

Talk about it! You can do that with someone from the Sexual Assault Center. 

Get help at the Sexual Assault Center 

Talk about it with someone you can trust. This can be an acquaintance, but also someone who has experience with violence and sex from his or her profession. 

You can contact the Sexual Assault Center. They have professionals who can help you and give advice. You can call them or chat with them. They are available 24 hours a day.

Get help from the Sexual Assault Center 

You can also go to your GP or your social worker. They will not share what you discuss with others if you do not want them to. However, they can refer you to a psychologist. With a psychologist you can talk further about what happened and how you can deal with this. The GP cannot help you report the incident to the police.

Report it to the police

You can report sexual violence to the police. Also report sexual violence if you have used drugs. You will not be punished for this. The police will see if the perpetrator can be punished. It can be difficult to report sexual violence to the policeThe Sexual Assault Center can help you to get in touch with the police.

This can help with your report:

• Report the crime as soon as possible
• Wait before showering, brushing your teeth, drinking or washing your clothes. This ensures that important traces of evidence do not disappear
• Make sure you have as much evidence as possible of what happened. For example, photographs. If there is violence in your relationship, it can also help if your neighbors tell you what they saw or heard

Injuries or complaints? Report to the Sexual Assault Center 

Are you injured, in pain or do you have other complaints due to sexual violence? Then contact the Sexual Assault Center. You can go there 24 hours a day. You can discuss what happened and what your complaints are with a staff member. You will receive advice about:

• Whether you should go to the doctor or the hospital
• Whether you need help to process what happened. For example from a psychologist or someone who has been through the same thing
• Whether you can do something against the person who hurt you. For example, go to the police

To the Sexual Assault Center

Recovering from sexual violence

If you have experienced sexual violence, it can have a big impact on your daily life. Talking to a psychologist or to others who have been through the same thing as you can help you process what happened. Menaswell has a number of services to help you with your mental recovery. MenAsWell offers therapy and have therapists who speak Dutch, English and Portuguese. There are also peer supporters at MenAsWell. They speak Dutch, English, Portuguese, Spanish, Arabic, French and Italian.