Timothy (38) is a regular customer at a nude bar

“I've been comfortable with nudity for a long time. For me, it symbolizes freedom. That's why I feel at home and at ease here at Free Willie.” The blond Australian does indeed look comfortable, as if he has never worn clothes in his life.

But that comfort wasn't always so obvious. In the past, Timothy felt less confident in his own skin. “As a child, I was quite fat and I didn't find myself attractive. As I got older, my body changed, I started exercising, and I learned to respect and appreciate my body. For me, being naked is therefore above all a liberating experience.”

Even with clothes on, Timothy feels very confident these days. And according to him, it's all connected: “If you're confident in one aspect of your life, it radiates to other areas. If you embrace a part of yourself and feel good about it, you also become more confident in other situations.”

Cruising

Sex and cruising are different in a nude bar than in a regular cruising bar. Timothy finds room for a “softer” form of cruising at Free Willie. "Sex isn't just about blowjobs and fucking. It's also about admiration, desire, and the idea that you can be in a sexually charged situation without touching anyone. For me, it's about exploring excitement within that dynamic."

The fact that everyone is naked opens the way for beautiful intimate encounters. “There's a special kind of coziness that arises when you have a drink together naked. At first it's exciting, but after about 10 minutes you stop worrying about how you look and you stop judging how others look. In naked spaces, differences fade away, because in the end we're all just flesh. That creates a very comfortable kind of equality.”

Consent

Being naked also makes you vulnerable. "It's very important to guard your own boundaries and those of others. It's okay to say ‘no’ in a way that doesn't have to be unkind or uncomfortable. I do it myself: if someone gets too close, I say ‘No, thank you’ kindly with a smile. It's a skill you can practice. And if you approach someone yourself, always ask for permission. 

‘May I touch you?’ There's nothing wrong with asking that – most people appreciate it!"

“I always try to keep in touch with people I've had sexual contact with, so I can inform them if necessary. In a nude bar, you don't necessarily have to have sex. There are other ways to experience intimacy—a conversation, a touch, a glance. You can't get an STI from those. However, I do feel it is important to get tested regularly. In my case, I get tested for STIs every three months.”

Love

Timothy came to the Netherlands for love, but has been single for a while now. Will he meet his new love in Free Willie? “Life has its ups and downs, doesn't it? I'm now exploring new options in my love life. Who knows, I might meet someone here! But if I do meet someone here, we'll of course do things together fully clothed in other places too.”

Editor's note

Man tot Man regularly interviews men about how they protect themselves against HIV and STIs, as well as their sexual experiences. We believe it is important for people to be well-informed and to think carefully about how they want to protect themselves. We hope that the various personal stories contribute to this awareness.
These stories do not necessarily represent the views of Man tot Man.