Tushar (32) wants to be open about having mpox

"If I can share my story, then maybe people will feel less stigmatized"

It was a regular Tuesday evening, 32-year-old Tushar recalls. He was having a drink with two friends, and when he picked up his beer at the bar, he noticed a small bump on his finger. He abruptly said goodbye and rushed home. “The only thought in my head was: please don’t let it be mpox.”

A friend who he’d been sunbathing with a few days prior, and with whom he had close skin contact, fell ill the day after their hang-out. “He developed a high fever, and then started erupting in spots.” Tushar was instantly on high alert. But back home after fleeing from the terrace, he was relieved: after searching his entire body, he didn’t find any other spots. Reassured, he went to bed.

On Wednesday morning he felt extremely tired and found three more small bumps. “And the one on my finger had definitely grown a bit.” Tushar made an appointment at his GP on Thursday. By Friday, he got the results: mpox.

Talking about it online

Because he felt as if there wasn’t much information available online yet at this point, Tushar decided to be open about having the virus. “On Sunday, I was feeling much better. Some of my pox had already crusted over. I decided to make an Instagram reel about my experience. I felt: if I can share my story, then maybe people will feel less stigmatized. Or at least they will know that they can reach out to me to learn more, or find a safe space to talk about it.”

The messages started coming in quickly. “From folks who were not sure if they had mpox and wanted to know more about it, and also from people who were suffering from mpox themselves. Within one day I learned about seven other friends, from all walks of life and from across the world, who were going through different stages of the infection.”

Different stories

In the video, Tushar told his followers he was feeling fine again. But soon after, he got a severe fever, extreme body pains and insomnia that lasted for two days. “Still, I learned that I had it much easier than many others. Mpox is affecting different people in different ways. In fact, many public health institutions say that the variant spreading in Europe is often unlike the original version, with symptoms appearing at different times.”

He sums up: “There are people who have had pox all over their bodies, then there are people who had just a few. There are those who had a fever and then pox, some - like me - who had it in reverse. There are some for whom the fever never came. There are people whose pox became blisters, scabbed over, and healed within ten days, and there are people who are still covered with scars after three weeks. There were friends who could not sleep because of the pain, and those who said this was unlike any other itch they ever had.”

“Almost everyone that I know who had or has mpox is on their way to healing. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a casual illness. And the isolation had a big impact on my mental health. For me, the worst aspect was the uncertainty of how long the infection was going to last, what to expect and be prepared for, and how to find support in those weeks of isolation." "But,” he concludes, “there is nothing to be ashamed about.”

More info

What can you do to prevent getting mpox? And what's the deal with vaccinations? 

Read all about the mpox

Editor’s note

Man tot Man regularly interviews men about how they protect themselves against HIV and STIs as well as their experiences with sex. We believe it is important for people to be well-informed and are able to make informed decisions on how to protect themselves. We hope that the variety of personal stories of people’s experiences help them with this. They do not necessarily reflect Man tot Man’s standpoint. 

Text: Tim van Erp

Would you like to share what steps you take to protect yourself against HIV and/or STIs?
Contact Man tot Man!