Stan (23) recently went to the GGD STI clinic for the first time.

Stan has been in steady relationships with men since he was sixteen, but he had never gotten tested. “I just kept putting it off; it wasn’t really high on my priority list.” Stan had some prior knowledge about sexual health, but mainly from a heteronormative perspective. “I used to live in a student house, and I’d occasionally hear from housemates that they had contracted chlamydia or herpes. So, of course, I knew there were risks if you were sexually active.” He also heard from his queer friends that they got tested regularly. “But I had no idea which sexual activities carried which risks, which STIs you could get from what, that sort of thing.”

"I really got the feeling that I could talk to her openly and without shame about sex."

When Stan and his partner wanted to explore whether an open relationship might be something for them, his partner contracted an STI. “He had symptoms and went to the public health service (GGD) to get tested. When it turned out my boyfriend had gonorrhea, he encouraged me to get tested as well, even though I didn’t have any symptoms.” Stan made an appointment at GGD Rotterdam-Rijnmond and was able to get seen fairly quickly.

The doctor who handled Stan’s consultation was very friendly. “I was a bit nervous and anxious, but my doctor was extremely kind. I really felt like I could talk to her openly and without shame about sex.” Stan was especially worried that for a swab test, something might have to be inserted into his urethra. “The doctor cheerfully explained that, fortunately, that hasn’t been necessary for years.” She did her best to make Stan feel at ease. “It felt very safe. For example, she even asked if I always enjoyed sex. When I told her about my situation—that my boyfriend and I wanted to try an open relationship and that he had contracted gonorrhea—she didn’t say anything like ‘oh, that’s wrong’ or ‘you should be ashamed.’ She didn’t judge at all, and I really appreciated that.”

"That hepatitis B vaccination just seemed like a smart choice to me."

During Stan’s partner’s appointment, he was offered a hepatitis B vaccination, which he accepted right away. “My partner encouraged me to get the same vaccination during my own appointment.” Stan will soon return to the public health service (GGD) for his second hepatitis B shot, and later for the third. “That vaccination just seemed like a smart choice. You never know how life will turn out. I’m not afraid of vaccines or anything like that, so I thought: why not?”

Some of Stan’s friends use PrEP, but he didn’t ask about it during his appointment. His relationship with his partner is no longer open. “In the end, it just wasn’t really for us. If we’re at a club together and want to kiss someone, we’ll do that. But when it comes to sex, we’ve become a bit more cautious.”

The visit to the STI clinic eased a fear for Stan. “If something happens again in the future, I’ll get tested right away. I had expected it to be really embarrassing—sitting in the waiting room, everyone looking at you and knowing you’re sexually active. But all that embarrassment is gone now.”

Editor's note

Man tot Man regularly interviews men about how they protect themselves against HIV and STIs, as well as their sexual experiences. We believe it is important for people to be well-informed and to think carefully about how they want to protect themselves. We hope that the various personal stories contribute to this awareness.
These stories do not necessarily represent the views of Man tot Man.
This article was previously published on Winq.nl.

Because Stan wishes to remain anonymous, we have used a stock photo alongside his story.
Text: Martijn Tulp
Stock photo: Pixabay

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