Saro (25) on make-up, sex and hepatitis B

'Sex is still difficult. For 22 years I heard that it isn’t right.'

In Iranian Kurdistan, Saro's life was threatened because of his homosexuality. In the Netherlands, he feels free to be himself and he feels protected. Also against hepatitis B, thanks to the free vaccination he got. Have you not been vaccinated yet? Book an appointment here

Imam

"I’m from Kurdistan, Iran. Just like my familiy, I was very religious. I studied the Koran every day, because everyone expected that I was going to be an imam, just like my father. We had no television and no internet at home, so my world was very small. For a very long time I thought I was being tested by God, that I should have been able to defeat my homosexual desires. 

I had a successful hair salon and worked in a theatre. I wore different clothes every day and dyed my hair in all the colors of the rainbow. People around me disapproved it. Because of my ideas my father didn’t let me live at home anymore. I knew many gay men and transsexuals who were married to a girl, because Iran does not allow homosexuality. They think they have a disease, because they are attracted to men.

Death threats

When I had to join the army, I met someone who showed me that homosexuality is not a sickness. In an internet café, we searched the internet about things on homosexuality. I always thought I was the only one coping with these feelings. My family and government couldn’t accept me as I am. I received death threats and had to flee. 

New family

I came to the Netherlands two years ago. In Amsterdam I started a new life. I live in a country where I am allowed to be who I am. I have found a new family here, I am happy. 

Sex is still difficult. For 22 years I heard that it isn’t right. I need more time to find out who I am and what I want. When I was still in the refugee camp, people discussed homosexuality and my health with me. They told me I had to protect myself. I have received two vaccinations against hepatitis B and I need a third. I’m happy that people in this country care about me."

Editor's note

Men to Men regularly interviews men about how they protect themselves against HIV and STIs as well as their experiences with sex. We believe it is important for people to be well-informed and are able to make informed decisions on how to protect themselves. We hope that the variety of personal stories of people’s experiences help them with this. They do not necessarily reflect Men to Men’s standpoint. 

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