Arjan (40) got the mpox: ‘Disappointing slutty summer’

Everything is temporary

It all started with painful knee joints. Arjan (40) didn’t really pay attention to it. “I assumed I made a wrong move or something.” He was tired as well, but that made sense - the weekend had just ended and he hadn’t slept much. “When I went to the bathroom, I saw that there was some mucus in my poo. I thought it was gonorrhea and made an appointment with Man tot Man Testlab.”

A few days later, he got a fever as well. The lymph nodes in his groin weren’t swollen, but they did start hurting. The day after, it became clear he had the monkeypox. “I must have gone to the toilet at least fifty times. Every time I went, it hurt really bad. Mostly, it was just blood and pus that came out. At the same time, the first two pox appeared. One on my back and one near my anus.” Arjan couldn’t see the spots, but he felt them growing rapidly.He cancelled his Testlab appointment and called the GGD to get tested for mpox.

Testing
The next day he could go to the GGD for his official test. “They always have to do that, even though they saw right away that I had the mpox. Right after, I got tested for STDs. The anal swab - for some reason that’s always really unpleasant, although I can usually take something bigger - hurt so much. My entire anus felt swollen and was basically clogged.”

The person that probably infected him, hadn’t left any contact details. “But I could reach the others I saw that night and later on. They all reacted very kindly. Nobody of them had any symptoms yet and most wanted to be called by the GGD.”

Although that part went smoothly, the isolation was tougher on Arjan. “My boyfriend was abroad at the time, which made it easier. But when he came back, we had to keep our distance and couldn’t touch each other.” Arjan calls it a ‘very disappointing slutty summer’. “I’d had gonorrhea twice already and was planning to take it easy, with my holiday and Pride approaching. That meant using condoms more often and quitting group sex for a while; I almost always catch something from that. Also, I wanted to stay away from people who gave me STDs but no notification.”

Relatively mild
Although the virus took its toll on Arjan in the beginning, in hindsight he can say it could have been worse. “One day after getting tested, I got two more pox. Both on my face, but on spots where possible scars wouldn’t be noticeable. Every day I felt a bit better. I didn’t need to use the bathroom as much and if I did, there was less blood and mucus.” No new pox arrived, nor did new feverish symptoms. “In the end, I just had to hang on. That I knew what was going on and how long it would probably last, made things better. Being able to work from home made it easier, too. But sometimes I had to run for the toilet in the middle of a Zoom call.”

After about 2 weeks, Arjan is now cured, but not off the hook. “The GGD asks you to use condoms for 12 weeks after, because they are not 100% sure if you can still infect someone. With anal sex, that’s no problem. But I never used a condom during a blowjob. Having sex with my boyfriend feels weird with condoms. Oh well, everything is temporary. I said that to myself during my infection a lot.”

“Actually,” he concludes, “I’m quite lucky that I’ve already had mpox. Now I probably can’t get them anymore. That makes me glad.”

More info
What can you do to prevent getting mpox? And what’s the deal with vaccinations? Read all about the mpox.

Editor’s note

Man tot Man regularly interviews men about how they protect themselves against HIV and STIs as well as their experiences with sex. We believe it is important for people to be well-informed and are able to make informed decisions on how to protect themselves. We hope that the variety of personal stories of people’s experiences help them with this. They do not necessarily reflect Man tot Man’s standpoint. 

We used a stock photo for this story as Arjan wished to remain anonymous.
Text: Tim van Erp
Stockfoto: 123rf.com

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