Problems with your erection

Very common problems

Most men struggle with getting a hard penis at some point. 1 out of every 10 men regularly deals with erectile problems. This is more common among older men. It can happen to young men too. 

To get an erection, you need to be aroused. Maybe it’s because you’re not interested enough in sex with your partner. Or the sex doesn’t feel good enough. This can make the sex less pleasurable for your partner too. Talk about it with each other. 

Is this bothering you often, or a lot? Ask your GP about the best solution for you.

Causes

Fatigue or stress

If you’re tired or stressed, it’s harder to get an erection. The best solution is sleeping and resting enough. If you feel sad, it’s also harder to get aroused. If you’re really struggling with sadness, talk to your GP.

Erectile problems can also be caused by:

• Shocking events in your life
• Problems with your relationship
• Fear of HIV
• Unpleasant experiences, for example sexual assault

Fear of failing

Do you feel insecure about your erection? That can make it even more difficult to get one. The pressure you feel to make it happen actually prevents you from getting an erection. By becoming aware of your negative thoughts, you can break the pattern. 

Physical problems

If the blood can’t flow well to your penis, you will have trouble with erections. This can be caused by:

• Smoking
• Being overweight
• Diabetes
• High cholesterol and vascular calcifications (calcium deposits in your blood vessels)

Some medications can cause erectile problems as a side effect. These include antidepressants, antihypertensives (blood pressure reducers) and antiretrovirals used against HIV. Never stop taking medication on your own. Always discuss it with your doctor first. Sometimes, switching medications can help.

Do you have HIV and erectile problems? Ask your doctor or HIV consultant for advice.

Alcohol and drugs

Alcohol and drugs can also make erections more complicated. You might also get one and have trouble staying hard. This is often the case with speed and cocaine. But other people can have the same issue when using drugs such as weed or ketamine. Read more about the effect of drugs on your body and on sex

Condoms

Sometimes, condoms can make you lose your erection. This usually happens because putting on a condom distract from the sex. The condom can also feel uncomfortable or reduce your sensation too much. A couple of tips:

• Keep condoms and lube handy. This way you can pick up where you stopped quickly. 
• Only put the condom on when the penis is hard

Does the penis become flaccid during penetration? Take a break. Try doing something else. This way will often help you getting hard again.

Healthier habits help

Healthier habits also help you with getting better erections. Your blood will flow better, and you will feel more relaxed. You will also be more in the mood for sex. This is what you can try on your own:

• Drink less or no alcohol
• Not smoking
• Regular exercise and sports
• Sleeping well
• Healthy food: less fats and sugars

Solutions to erectile problems

Cock ring

With a cock ring (or penis ring), it will be easier to keep an erection for a longer time. A cock ring keeps the blood in your penis. 

• Cock rings are made of rubber, metal, leather or rope
• An elastic or adjustable cock ring is the easiest to put on and take off
• Don’t wear a cock ring for more than 30 minutes 
• If you feel pain, remove the cock ring immediately. You should do the same if your penis or balls turn red, blue or white

Erection pills and herbal remedies

There is medication to help deal with erectile problems. They improve the blood flow in the penis. This helps you get hard faster and for a longer time. The medication on its own won’t give you an erection. You still need to be aroused.

Doctor-prescribed

Safe and effective medications are Viagra, Cialis, Levitra and Uprima. These pills can only be prescribed by a doctor. With a doctor’s prescription you can pick them at your local pharmacy.

Online, in sex shops and in smart shops you can find alternatives that don’t require a doctor’s prescription. These are not always safe to use. And you don’t know if they will work. Online, you probably came across Kamagra. This contains sildenafil, the substance found in Viagra. Kamagra is a cheaper version of Viagra that is produced abroad. Some drug dealers also sell erection pills. This is dangerous. You don’t know what’s in those pills and whether they are safe to use.

Dangerous with some drugs

It can be very dangerous to combine different drugs that affect your blood pressure. A dangerous combination is erection pills and poppers, especially if you have a cardiovascular disease.

More unsafe sex?

Erection problems can complicate safe sex. For example because you don’t always manage to use a condom. As a consequence, you’re not protected against STDs. 

Do you use erection pills? If so, there are two ways you can run a higher risk: 

• The medication increases the blood flow in your mucous membranes. This poses a higher risk for STDs or HIV 
• By fucking for a longer time, you might get small tears on your penis or anus. Make sure to use enough lube. Read more about lube. After 15 minutes of fucking, put on a new condom. Otherwise it might tear