Sjoerd (32) always uses a condom

'Using a condom is totally not an issue.'

Sjoerd (32) always has sex with a condom, even if the other person would rather not use one. “Once I accidentally had sex without a condom,  I knew right then and there: never again.”

“I always have sex with a condom as a matter of principle. It’s the only way I can have sex without any worries Not just as a form of protection against all kinds of STIs, but also because I think it’s more hygienic. And as a bottom, I don’t like it when someone comes in me. I don’t feel having to go straight to the bathroom right after sex.

Never again

I did had sex without a condom when I was in a relationship. It was the first time we had anal sex, and we both decided we would prefer to just use a condom. Especially in an open relationship, it makes things a lot easier. Some time after that, in the heat of the moment with a date, I had sex without a condom. Well, it wasn’t even officially a date, just dinner at a friend’s. We suddenly ended up in be together and it was so unexpected that we didn’t use a condom. It pretty much happened before we both realised it. I knew right then and there: never again. I trusted him, but I was still worried about HIV and STIs.

Fantastic invention

I have been thinking about taking PrEP, and I might go ahead if it becomes more readily available. I’m part of the gay cohort of GGD (public health service) Amsterdam, and I get tested every six months. If I could get PrEP there, I’d consider it. But I would still keep wearing condoms. It’s great that PrEP protects you from getting HIV, but you can still get gonorrhoea or chlamydia. I really don’t need that.

It’s almost like using a condom is becoming more of an issue. To me, a condom is a fantastic invention. Plus, I notice tons of people on the dating apps saying they use PrEP. Statistically speaking, that is unrealistic. Sometimes people ask me, while chatting in dating apps: ‘safe or bare?’ When they ask that question it usually means they want to go bare. Fine, but I only want to have sex with a condom, and that means that some dates are cancelled. But then again, you can be rejected for just about anything. If I’m rejected on account of my condom use, so be it.”

Editor's note

Men to Men regularly interviews men about how they protect themselves against HIV and STIs as well as their experiences with sex. We believe it is important for people to be well-informed and are able to make informed decisions on how to protect themselves. We hope that the variety of personal stories of people’s experiences help them with this. They do not necessarily reflect Men to Men’s standpoint. This story was published on Winq.nl.

We used a stock photo for this story as Sjoerd wished to remain anonymous.

Text: Martijn Tulp
Stock photo: 123rf.com

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