Sex and drugs: chemsex

What is chemsex?

Chemsex means having sex while using drugs. This can be done by 2 people or by a group. You can use uppers and downers. Uppers give you energy. For example, ecstasy or cocaine. Downers, instead, slow you down. Examples are weed or GHB.

Some people use uppers and downers together, sometimes also with poppers and erection pills. It’s better not to mix different drugs: it can be dangerous. And sometimes, it can reduce the effect of the drugs you took.

 More about types of sex drugs  

What are the risks of sex with drugs?

Using drugs during sex can make the sex more fun. But it can also be bad for your health. The risks and downsides of drugs:

• You can get addicted. If so, you can’t do well without them
• It’s harder to guard your boundaries. As a result, you might do things you actually don’t want to do
• Using drugs and alcohol can make getting or keeping your penis hard (erection) more difficult
• Read what you can do to get an erection when using drugs

It’s also easier to get an STD if you use drugs during sex, because:

• You don’t always use a condom
• Sex can be more intense, but you don’t always feel it in the moment. This can make it easier for your anus to bleed. For example when fisting (inserting a hand in your ass) or using sex toys
• You are more likely to share sex toys without cleaning them
• You go on for a longer time, so it’s easier to get small wounds on your penis

How do you use drugs during sex?

You can use drugs in different ways. You can smoke, snort, swallow or inject. Some ways are safer than others.

More about safer drugs use

Sex against your will when using drugs

Did you use drugs? Then sometimes you could do things you actually don’t want to do. Or you could do something to another person they don’t want or like.  

To avoid this, make sure not to take too many drugs during sex. This way you will know what you are doing and what you don’t want to do. Is the person you are having sex with doing something against your will? Then say something about it. Make sure you have permission (consent) before you touch someone. 

Are you having sex with multiple people, and seeing someone doing something to another person whom you think is unable to say no? Again, say something about it. This way you can avoid a bad experience, for you and others.

Did something you didn’t want happen anyway? And do you want to talk or do something about it? Then contact the Sexual Assault Centre (Centrum Seksueel Geweld). They will listen to you and, if necessary, help you file a police report and get tested for STDs.

MenAsWell has therapists who specialize, among other things, in unpleasant experiences with chemsex. MenasWell's therapists speak Dutch, English and Portuguese. The sessions are mostly online and in Amsterdam and The Hague they also have a physical location. MenAsWell also has peer supporters that can provide a listening ear. They speak Dutch, English, Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, French and Italian.

Read more about sex against your will 

If you want to quit drugs

Do you want to stop using drugs during sex? Or would you like to use less? There are different places that can help you with this. 

 How can you stop using drugs?

Do you have questions about sex and drugs?

Do you want to know more about using drugs and alcohol during sex? Or how best to use drugs?

• Read more about drugs at drugsinfo.nl (in Dutch) and pinkunity.nl
• Chemsex.nl offers objective informationabout sex under the influence of drugs
• You can call the Alcohol and Drugs Infolijn 24 hours a day on 0900-1995 (€0.10/minute). Would you rather talk to a staff member? Then call on working days (Mon-Fri) between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM. What you tell them is confidential. And you can stay anonymous. Professionals offer you information and advice. If necessary, they will redirect you to other organisations for help and information. You can also chat with or email them.